Saturday, February 02, 2008


When you spend a big part of your life putting others first, standing up and demanding your "turn" proves difficult for two reasons. One, it seems unnatural. And two, the rebellious reaction from the world around you , the world that is accustomed to you taking a back seat, is overwhleming and nearly overpowering.

Putting others first is not a bad thing. I believe it is ideal, in fact. Considering others is essential to finding peace. Until we learn to do this globally, we will always be at war. But putting others first is not about neglecting oneself, nor is it about pleasing all of the people all of the time. It is simply consideration. It is thinking of others before making a decision or before speaking or before acting in one way or another. Consideration.

There are many who believe that they put others first in life because the decisions they face and the options they see for themselves are seemingly more beneficial for others than for them. Choosing one of those options does not make you selfless. You are not putting others first because you made a decision that wasn't what you wanted. Not getting what you want in life doesn't make you selfless. The selfless man sees the options before him and makes a decision because it is the right decision and does not lament the loss of opportunity when that decision benefits the ones he loves. And I am going to guess that nine times out of ten, if you are in a situation where none of the choices you have are a reflection of what you want, you put yourself there. So, it's your own fault if you never get what you want.

Consideration is CONTINUOUS and careful thought. It is thoughtful and sympathetic regard. It is an opinion obtained by REFLECTION.

It is possible to integrate consideration into your life and still take your turn. The key is in the continuous and careful thought.

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