Thursday, July 07, 2005

A Few Good (Short) Men

Despite the reports and the grumbling of women everywhere, I firmly believe there are a few good men left in the world. I use the term "few" figuratively, not literally. There are surely more than THREE good men left on the planet Earth. And, of course, "GOOD" is relative to your own personal definition.

A good man, I believe, should be defined as a man who loves and respects people-not JUST his momma. A good man has goals in life and dreams and aspirations for his future. He is responsible but generous with his money and his time. He handles those around him with gentleness and care and concern. A good man has integrity. He is honest.

My dad is a good man, as are/were my uncles. My cousins are good men. They all have faults. They have made mistakes and haven't always made the wisest decisions. They aren't sinless men. But they are good men. And I find myself constantly measuring the men that I meet against the standards set by the men around whom I grew up. (In fact, if I'm really liking a guy, I will try to picture him sitting on the couch on Thanksgiving day between two of my cousins. If it isn't a good fit, I tend to rethink my position.)

Aside from family, I have a few male friends who definitely qualify as good men. My friends Alberto and Bracken are good men (&, incidentally are married to a couple of really good women--Kelley and Diane, respectively). My friend Paige's new husband, Andy, and my friend Christy's boyfriend, Dax, were early qualifiers for the good man category. I didn't have to know them long to know they are each a great catch. Each of the afore-mentioned men treats his woman like a queen. Of course I have never lived with any of them, but in public and amongst friends, each of these guys is proud to stand beside his girl. Each of them is respectful and courteous and loving.

Friends, I am CONVINCED there are more of this breed of men out there. Somewhere. I have met them in the grocery store, at the car wash, in the beer line at the baseball game, ONLINE in dating services. They are EVERYWHERE!

So what is the problem, Michele? Why haven't you snatched one up and made him your own? Why is that you are still single?

While these good men are indeed EVERYWHERE, they are all...


That's right. They are short. They are 5'7", 5'8"...

Under 5'10" usually qualifies as short but for a girl who is 5'10", anything under 6 feet tall is just too short.

My personal list of the qualities I would like to find in my man is only 12 items long. I have pared it down considerably from my younger years. But height is a really BIG deal for me (no pun intended). "Taller than me" is going to rest comfortably at #1 until Mr. Taller-Than-Me enters my life and sets up camp. There are enough opportunities in life for me to feel Amazon-like. I can go shopping for clothes or , quite frankly, just show up at a work function or stroll through a bar on a Friday night. Tall women are a rare commmodity unless you work for the WNBA.

I don't want to feel big when I with my man. Am I being petty? Maybe. Too picky? Perhaps.

But I think a man is a good man for all the reasons I have already mentioned and because he helps you feel like the woman you envision yourself to be.

I might be a big girl. And I am strong and independent and capable of anything. But I envision myself to be all that as well as someone who will allow herself to be cared for and protected and treated like a queen.

And, I envision myself standing next to someone who makes me look...

...just as short as the next gal.