Women Unite: The Pad is Back

Pulling a new shirt out of the bag, I unfolded it gently and laid it on the bed. I hadn't tried the emerald green beauty on before I made the purchase. As I reviewed my fantastic find, I noticed a slight bulge at the shoulder. Slowly, I lifted the shirt closer to examine it. The horror! Hiding in my shirt, one in each arm, were... SHOULDER PADS.

WHY would anyone put shoulder pads in a shirt? We have done this before. Do we not remember what it looked like? Well, THIS is what it looked like:

She looks angry. Doesn't she? I am not sure who introduced shoulder pads to women's clothing the first time but it was wrong. What is attractive about a woman with the shoulders of a linebacker? It is clear that these sneaky designers are doing it again. They are slipping bulky chunks of foam into the sleeves of our shirts, ladies. We cannot let this go on. We must ban together to ban the shoulder pads. WOMEN UNITE!