Sunday, December 16, 2007

And the storm came early...

Usually, the winter holidays reign supreme in my world. I relish the giving aspect of it all. It is the one time of year when I am allowed to go all out and give and give and give until my heart's content. Beyond a doubt, it is the happiest time of year for me.

It is also the calm before the storm every year.

Once the chaos winds down, all of the gifts have been opened, the cookies have been eaten and the parties end, I settle into everyday reality. I coast through January, a month in which I typically do some volunteer work and a lot of singing. And then comes February. The most difficult month of the year for me.

This year, however, the storm came early. Stranded on the island of nothing's-going-right, I watched as many of the people in my life faded into the busy-ness of the season as is customary at the holidays. And I struggled to thrust myself into that same busy-ness. Distracted by the disaster that is my life at the moment, I lack motivation for the giving this year. I don't even really care. I have procrastinated terribly and lack creativity completely.

Usually, the February storm lasts about three weeks. Last year, was the worst year ever. I wonder if it's early arrival means an early departure. Or will I have to ride it out until March?

God help the people around me if that's the case.

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