Midnight Caller

Over the last few weeks, I've started sleeping in split shifts, thanks to my new friend, the Midnight Caller.

A little over a year ago, I had a secret admirer whose tactics were frightening. Notes duct-taped to the windsheild of my car or stuffed into the mail slot in my front door made me more than uneasy. Then my car windows were broken and odd things were taken, like socks. Nevermind all of the expensive items that I carelessly left in the back seat... Finally, the effort to garner my attention became so unnerving that I packed up, dropped my belongings in a storage unit and moved back to the security of my parents' home.

I am still living with my parents but a few months ago, I stayed at a friend's place for a few days while he was out of town. It was a huge test. Was I ready to live alone again? The first night was torture. I laid in bed, staring at the cieling for hours before exhaustion kicked in and I reluctantly fell asleep. But overall, the extended weekend went well. I enjoyed the time alone and feeling more in control of my day-to-day life. Afterward, I decided I was ready. So I have been looking for the perfect place.

Then, last week, the Midnight Caller starting harassing me. I only call him or her the Midnight Caller because the phone calls are only coming after midnight. The first night, there were three calls. The second night, there were two. Last night, just one... And once they start, I can't get back to sleep again.

I'm angry. I am slowly regaining control of the different areas of my life. The waters were finally calming and the boat seemed steady. And now, this stranger is rocking the boat again. So I have to revert to having my friends meet me at the door when we go out and walk me to my car and take all of the precautions I was advised to take last year.

There are other, more attractive, less scary ways to get someone's attention. Calling in the daylight hours might be a start.

unwanted

Not being wanted by someone is one of the harshest realities in this life. Especially when you are suddenly unwanted by someone that you want and that wanted you... for a while. To be unwanted is to be undesired, unaccepted, unneeded, unsought, unwished for. Those are some strong words!

How do you deal with that?

This is where I usually give you a long, drawn out explanation of how you deal with it but in this case, I really don't know. I have been trying to deal with this situation for about two months now. And while they say that time heals all wounds, I ain't seein' it. It feels to me like every passing day makes the weight of this burden heavier. The longer I have to go without a valid or somewhat reasonable excuse for why I'm unwanted, the harder it is for me to deal.

I am not above showing my weaknesses on this site. I do it all the time. But I pride myself on being able to take my life experiences and spin them into something useful, something from which others can learn and from which we can all grow. But I am honestly at a loss here.

So it's your turn... I need some advice. How do you deal?

You don't have to leave a comment here for all the world to see. You can always just send an email to michelesingsit@yahoo.com. Your thoughts, ideas and swift kicks in the backside are appreciated.

The Sisterhood

Sisterhood: the state or kinship of being sisters; sisterly companionship.

Women need other women. We must surround ourselves with females who will edify us, encourage us, pull us out of the depths of our own sorrow, lift our spirits, give us guidance. Women are the best friends to other women and the best teachers too.

It is through female relationships that women become powerful and strong and successful contributors to society. Only another woman can teach you to find value within yourself and only she can show you that your self worth is not wrapped up in what you do for a living, how many children you have or what man stands beside you.

Enrobing yourself in the sisterhood of women gives you inspiration to strive for what is better, offers you the opportunity to sit in the presence of a proud people and soak in the wisdom of years and experience and inherent knowledge that comes simply from being born female.

And once taken in by the sisterhood of womankind, you wonder why you ever fought it. More times than not, women are not rejected BY the sisterhood, they simply reject it for selfish reasons, most of which revolve around men. Men can give us many things but they cannot replace our internal need for other women in our lives.

If you commit yourself to female friendships, you will find an undying loyalty, unending concern and helpfulness and an eternal resource from which to draw what you need when you need it.

There's nothing like the sisterhood.