While there are obstacles in every relationship, the course one must travel to reach true female friendship can be long and treacherous. There are many women who do not have the endurance, stamina or desire to push through the course. They have given up on the idea of true female friendship altogether or they are close with just one or two other women, cutting themselves off from the possibility that we could live in a world of women who respect, love and consider one another.
There are three major encumbrances to female friendship: selfishness, manipulation & deceitfulness.
There are a lot of selfish people in this world. But I believe selfishness in a woman is much more demonstrative, bold, brazen and often, more careless. And many selfish woman are unaware of how impactful their decisions to please self are on others around them. This selfishness is obstacle number one in female relationships.
Obstacle number two is the inherent manipulation that women possess. We all know how to get what we want. And most of us use our talents of manipulation with a positive flavor. But many orchestrate situations in a way that are hurtful and cause irreparable damage.
Deceitfulness is the third deterrent in the quest for female friendship. Lying is bad. This includes white lies, lying by omission, spinning the truth... Any way that you keep something from another or tell a story differently from the facts is deceitfulness.
Last night I was with a group of women who don't necessarily agree with my belief that we, as women, owe it to each other to try to repair our history together. Their past experiences have proven their belief that women don't make good friends. But I hold firmly to the idea that making an effort with one woman at a time can make a difference. Sometimes, you are gonna get played. That's the bottom line. But even if you don't get what you expect in return, then at least you have done your part to change the reputation of women. At least you have planted a seed of care or concern or truthfulness or consideration...
I realize that it is sometimes excruciating to move past the pain inflicted on you by other women. It's not easy to get past the fact that they'd rather sleep with your ex than nurture their relationship with you. It's hard to swallow the can't-tell-the-truth-to-save-my-life pill. Seeing beyond the fits of neediness and hatefulness is tough.
But your pure and genuine motives outweigh the ungratefulness of others. They may make you feel like the joke's on you but in the long run, the joke is on them. As is the loneliness and the sadness of never knowing or feeling or experiencing the joys and the unparalleled rewards of female friendship.