Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Guy Friend

The good guy friend is hard to come by. When I was in college, I had plenty of good guy friends. There were a few that completely embodied the good guy friend, however. They were protective like a brother, fun to hang out with like a buddy, helpful like your dad and never crossed the friendship line.

About a year ago, I went to dinner with one of the best guy friends I have ever had. After years of having not seen each other, we reminisced for hours. And he told me that he was glad to have had me in his life. And I told him the same. And then he said, "You know, I'm glad you didn't end up with (fill in name of guy I was crazy about in college). He wasn't good enough for you. And he still isn't." A good guy friend sees your worth, never takes you for granted and treats you with respect.

The good guy friend is the guy who will help you move furniture up over thirty steps to your apartment. Not because he feels obligated. Not because he's afraid saying "no" will hurt your feelings. But because he can.

He goes to hockey games and buys the beer and heckles all the mullet-havin' fans sitting around you. And he rolls his eyes when you base your favorite baseball player on how good he looks in the white pants... Then he schools you on the value of a good lefty in the bullpen.

The good guy friend talks to you about the girl he likes and values your opinion about her. He also tells you how he feels about the guys that you are interested in. But he only tells you when you ask. (Nagging you about your man insanity is the responsibility of your female friends.) And when you do ask, the good guy friend is brutally honest.

The good guy friend sits on the front porch, guarding your front door, when your crazy neighbor stalker guy freaks you out. And in a time of crisis, or when you are having a bad week, he calls to check on you. A visit might mean hugging and consoling. Not that he's not into all that but that's what your girlfriends are for... His purpose for communication at that point is to try to fix it, not to wallow about in it.

The good guy friend is a guy you'd invite to a family barbecue or fix up with your best girl friend. (You should never fix someone up with a guy you wouldn't date yourself anyway!)

Since college, the good guy friends have been harder to come by. The show up in life mostly in the form of co-workers or teammates or friends' husbands. And it seems none of them are the complete good guy friend package anymore. The good guy friend is a rare commodity.

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