Thursday, December 14, 2006

It’s Not Going Anywhere

If I haven’t written about this before, I have been remiss. And if I have? Well, it’s worth writing about again.

The distinction between the male and female anatomy is obvious to most people by the time they are two or three years old. My four-year-old nephew is very aware of breasts, for example. I believe his fourth or fifth word was “boobs” and he said it all the time once he realized that it drew a big laugh from everyone around him. Just the other day, as my mom hand-washed her bras and hung them over the laundry room sink to dry, my nephew watched patiently. Then he said, “Meemo, whose bras are those?” My mom replied, “They’re mine.” And my nephew stated simply, “I like the way you hang them up like that.” He’s very aware of breasts and the holsters that carry them. He’s a man in the making.

Women are as aware of their breasts as men are. We know they are there. They have grown up with us. And we know that, barring surgery, they aren’t going away. So, we don’t often feel the need to hold onto them.

Many men, on the other hand, have a preoccupation with their distinctive anatomical protrusions, which causes them to hold onto them constantly. On a daily basis, I come across a man holding his crotch. What reasons could one have to hold his crotch? Perhaps he is rushing to the bathroom because he has to pee really badly… Or maybe he just got kicked where it counts… Or could it be that he is afraid that on the day he doesn’t hold it, it will just disappear into thin air or it will drop off while he’s walking? Or maybe he will wake up and forget where he put it!

Whatever the reason, men can rest assured that it’s NOT going anywhere. I have polled many men who have had their private parts for MANY years and have never lost or misplaced them. Now, allowing those parts to make decisions on your behalf happens everyday. But that’s a topic for another time.

No comments: