The good guy friend is hard to come by. When I was in college, I had plenty of good guy friends. There were a few that completely embodied the good guy friend, however. They were protective like a brother, fun to hang out with like a buddy, helpful like your dad and never crossed the friendship line.
About a year ago, I went to dinner with one of the best guy friends I have ever had. After years of having not seen each other, we reminisced for hours. And he told me that he was glad to have had me in his life. And I told him the same. And then he said, "You know, I'm glad you didn't end up with (fill in name of guy I was crazy about in college). He wasn't good enough for you. And he still isn't." A good guy friend sees your worth, never takes you for granted and treats you with respect.
The good guy friend is the guy who will help you move furniture up over thirty steps to your apartment. Not because he feels obligated. Not because he's afraid saying "no" will hurt your feelings. But because he can.
He goes to hockey games and buys the beer and heckles all the mullet-havin' fans sitting around you. And he rolls his eyes when you base your favorite baseball player on how good he looks in the white pants... Then he schools you on the value of a good lefty in the bullpen.
The good guy friend talks to you about the girl he likes and values your opinion about her. He also tells you how he feels about the guys that you are interested in. But he only tells you when you ask. (Nagging you about your man insanity is the responsibility of your female friends.) And when you do ask, the good guy friend is brutally honest.
The good guy friend sits on the front porch, guarding your front door, when your crazy neighbor stalker guy freaks you out. And in a time of crisis, or when you are having a bad week, he calls to check on you. A visit might mean hugging and consoling. Not that he's not into all that but that's what your girlfriends are for... His purpose for communication at that point is to try to fix it, not to wallow about in it.
The good guy friend is a guy you'd invite to a family barbecue or fix up with your best girl friend. (You should never fix someone up with a guy you wouldn't date yourself anyway!)
Since college, the good guy friends have been harder to come by. The show up in life mostly in the form of co-workers or teammates or friends' husbands. And it seems none of them are the complete good guy friend package anymore. The good guy friend is a rare commodity.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Fire Factor
Fire is fascinating. Entangled reds and oranges and yellows flicker brightly, inviting you to touch it. The heat of the flame intensifies as you get closer to it. A crumpled piece of paper disintegrates in seconds with soft crackles and pops. It’s fascinating.
But, if you touch it, you’ll get burned.
And you know that you shouldn’t touch it but the temptation comes over you almost every time you get close to the fire. As a child, resisting the temptation is almost impossible. As an adult, avoiding the fire is common sense.
I have been playing with fire for a few years now and I didn’t even realize it until a friend pointed out my charred fingertips and my scorched ego. This fire is as fascinating as the real thing. Entangled humor and intelligence and good looks invite me. The heat of the flame creates an intense connection.
But every time I touch it I get burned.
And every time, I’m fascinated. I think it will be different. Maybe I can get really close… close enough to feel the heat but not get burned.
Fire is no respecter of persons. It gives no consideration to its surroundings. Fire heats and lights and cooks… It does some wonderful things. But if you touch it, you’ll get burned.
But, if you touch it, you’ll get burned.
And you know that you shouldn’t touch it but the temptation comes over you almost every time you get close to the fire. As a child, resisting the temptation is almost impossible. As an adult, avoiding the fire is common sense.
I have been playing with fire for a few years now and I didn’t even realize it until a friend pointed out my charred fingertips and my scorched ego. This fire is as fascinating as the real thing. Entangled humor and intelligence and good looks invite me. The heat of the flame creates an intense connection.
But every time I touch it I get burned.
And every time, I’m fascinated. I think it will be different. Maybe I can get really close… close enough to feel the heat but not get burned.
Fire is no respecter of persons. It gives no consideration to its surroundings. Fire heats and lights and cooks… It does some wonderful things. But if you touch it, you’ll get burned.
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