Monday, February 20, 2006

Size 6

Has anyone seen Mariah Carey lately? She claims she wears a size 6. I just want to sneak up behind her on the red carpet, get up in her ear and whisper really loudly, "Girl, you know you don't wear no size 6... 16 maybe... but it ain't no 6."

Not that it matters, of course. I am happy to have Mariah Carey joining the throngs of plus-sized pretties who are in the public eye. She obviously isn't unhealthy. She's not gasping for breath while performing live. She is curvaceous and beautiful. Juicy, even. And all that juicy is not squeezing into a size 6. Not that it matters...

In fact, when does size ever matter? Really... Today I went to a store and tried on the same shirt in two sizes. They both fit me exactly the same and I am convinced that this size thing is really just a scam. Over the course of time, human beings have grown... bigger. That's a fact. And the standard size 6 of today is not the size 6 of yesteryear. So we are all living a farce. I hate to say it but my size 14 jeans are probably really about a 22. But that little 14 that the manufacturer puts inside my jeans makes me feel good. They tell us what we want to hear...

We all know Mariah is not alone. Women everywhere continue to refuse to accept their true size. They deny the real number which has been assigned to their hips and their butts and their rolls of back fat. And, up until recently I have thought that answer to the size war was to re-train women to be proud of their true size. While I have not given up on that fight, I have a new solution to help us pass the time. CUT THE TAGS OUT OF YOUR CLOTHES. Just like Mariah. Noone but you will ever have to know.

Without the tags, we can all be a size six.

No comments: