Here is a list of the top ten things I do with my dog that would be more annoying if I was doing them with human children. Some of these things I swore I'd never do.
10. I complain about all of the toys strewn about my house and wonder aloud why they can't seem to find their way to the toy box.
9. I feel distraught when she behaves in a way that is contrary to what I've taught her (and sometimes I wonder what her life will become if I can't get her to act right).
8. I worry that she doesn't have enough friends or enough exposure to different people and animals.
7. I panic if I leave her alone for too long and I often leave her with my parents who "babysit" her. To make it worse, I call them frequently to check on her.
6. I imagine the horrible things that could be happening to her when I'm not around, like jumping through one of our second story windows in an attempt to find freedom.
5. I monitor her eating behaviors to make sure she's not eating too much but is getting enough nourishment to maintain her ideal body weight. (This is something I clearly don't even do for myself.)
4. I give her kisses constantly. Nothing on the lips. Just the cheek. Over and over and over.
3. I can't help but be concerned if she is warm enough. Now that she has a sweater (purchase for her by my sister), I am afraid her feet might be cold and often consider getting her some little booties. I have not buckled yet.
2. I examine her poop. Carefully.
1. I expect her to understand how I feel and to behave accordingly. I am frequently disappointed.
While most of those things already place me firmly in the crazy pet owner category, I suppose the good news is that I have room to get worse.
