Friday, February 05, 2010

Four Months

“Congratulations!” the nurse said as she rushed back into the room and thrust my paperwork under my nose.

Tears streamed down my cheeks immediately.

The nurse looked up. “I’m sorry?” she asked softly.

Single and pregnant. It seems that the moment you say out loud, “that will never be me,” it is you and the shock is overwhelming. Truthfully, news came as no surprise. I knew for days that I was pregnant. I just needed official confirmation. I notified the baby’s father only after I had called my three best friends.

The details of every day after that are vivid in my memory even ten years later. The changes in my body were undeniable and I loved pregnancy. But through the experience, I learned some of the hardest lessons in my life.

My baby never took a breath outside the womb. I never held him or saw his face. In fact he never grew larger than the size of a lemon. His time with me was short-lived but I still cherish every day we had. I am grateful for what he taught me. I am thankful for the joy and the sorrow.

Had all gone as planned, tomorrow would have been his 10th birthday.

I will never forget, not even for a moment, that four months of my life. What a profound impact! Happy Birthday little guy.

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