There are two truths that a man is afraid to tell his friends. One is that he's gay. And the other is that he loves fat women.
The definition of fat varies, of course. But, no matter how it is defined, in most male circles fat isn't cool, especially when it's your girlfriend. And it takes a brave man to admit that, unlike the other guys who are drawn to thin or even skinny women, he loves a curvy gal.
It is unfortunate that we grow up conditioned to dismiss fat people as uninteresting, unmotivated, unattractive and unlikeable. Fat shouldn't factor into the like-ability of anyone. The only thing fat affects is how much you weigh. And falling for someone who is overweight does not make you less health concious or less fit. It doesn't make you uninteresting or unattractive or unlikeable.
There is a scene in the movie SUMMER CATCH in which one of guys jumps on the table in a crowded bar and boldly proclaims, "I love fat women and fat women love me." The proclamation need not always be so dramatic but it sure would be nice to see more of that in the real world. As more women begin to learn how to love their curves, hopefully men will learn to be true to themselves and not just the standards set for them by their peers or their families.
Come on out of the closet, boys! No matter which one you're in.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
No Resolutions, No Regrets
As the rest of the world defines all they will do better in 2006, I’ve decided to just stay the course. No resolutions. Some might see my course as lack-luster, non-productive or perhaps a bit depressing but it’s familiar and comfortable. For all of the resolutions designed to take better care of oneself, I would think the best plan of action would be to do nothing at all. Why cause yourself so much stress and displeasure? Save yourself the mental anguish and just stay the course.
In my earlier years (the optimistic years) my resolutions came to me without much deliberation. If I thought it, I believed I could do it. If I said I would lose weight, there was no doubt that I would eat healthier and exercise more and eventually find my way into single digit clothing for the first time EVER. If I said I would be a kinder, gentler driver, then surely I could suppress the ever-present road rager within and do so. If I decided to get organized, then clutter would magically be eliminated from my life.
If you know me, then you know that I have never made it into that size 8, I still rage at the inconsiderate, cell-phone-talking driver next to me and I continue to move from home to home or just room to room with that one box filled with papers that I am never going to file. While my optimism soared in the early years, my actual RESOLVE left much to be desired. And that led to a lot of time spent regretting that I didn’t do what I said I would do.
After years of resolving and regretting, I turned my focus to developing my character and enhancing my inner qualities. Because the evidence of having fulfilled such resolutions was not physical, I thought it would be more achievable and maybe less OBVIOUS if I was unsuccessful. But resolutions of this nature are YEARS in the making. You don’t just become a better person over night. That is something you must work at daily.
So there is no quick fix to the resolution dilemma except perhaps to stay the course. And if you insist on resolving to change your life or change the world or just to change your hairstyle, do it on a regular day when there isn’t so much pressure. In fact, do it every day. The world could be a better place for it and you’ll be a lot less stressed out.
In my earlier years (the optimistic years) my resolutions came to me without much deliberation. If I thought it, I believed I could do it. If I said I would lose weight, there was no doubt that I would eat healthier and exercise more and eventually find my way into single digit clothing for the first time EVER. If I said I would be a kinder, gentler driver, then surely I could suppress the ever-present road rager within and do so. If I decided to get organized, then clutter would magically be eliminated from my life.
If you know me, then you know that I have never made it into that size 8, I still rage at the inconsiderate, cell-phone-talking driver next to me and I continue to move from home to home or just room to room with that one box filled with papers that I am never going to file. While my optimism soared in the early years, my actual RESOLVE left much to be desired. And that led to a lot of time spent regretting that I didn’t do what I said I would do.
After years of resolving and regretting, I turned my focus to developing my character and enhancing my inner qualities. Because the evidence of having fulfilled such resolutions was not physical, I thought it would be more achievable and maybe less OBVIOUS if I was unsuccessful. But resolutions of this nature are YEARS in the making. You don’t just become a better person over night. That is something you must work at daily.
So there is no quick fix to the resolution dilemma except perhaps to stay the course. And if you insist on resolving to change your life or change the world or just to change your hairstyle, do it on a regular day when there isn’t so much pressure. In fact, do it every day. The world could be a better place for it and you’ll be a lot less stressed out.
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