After, the September 11th attacks ten years ago, I decided that it was my responsibility as a singer of our country's national anthem to take a step back and reconsider how I performed the song. At that point, I had been singing the national anthem at events for about 15 years. There was rarely a situation in which I didn't panic about remembering the words to the song or get butterflies before singing.
So I sat down and wrote out the words. I studied the story. And I realized that, while we emphasize the phrase "and the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting in air," the anthem is really about more than the fighting. It's about coming through the battle and surviving. It's about being the side that is STILL STANDING when the smoke clears. It's about perseverance and victory.
In honor of the men and women who served before, during and after 9/11, here's the anthem as I sing it today. The crowd was small but that doesn't change the importance of the moment.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Friday, September 02, 2011
Being 40: Wonderful, Wonderful People
It has been my experience that most people only remember the bad things you've done. It has also been my experience that in situations of conflict most people do not look deeper than what they see and hear on the surface. And it has been my experience that once you've hurt someone, directed your anger toward someone (or even seemingly so), revealed your vulnerability or exposed your flaws to others, the person you are in that single moment is the person you are to that person or those people for the duration of your relationship.
Over the last few days, I learned a very big lesson. I learned that there are people who will take the time to get to know who you are, who will remember your heart, weigh the whole of who you are and not just a single moment and love you in spite of your flaws and vulnerabilities.
People I've known for just six months demonstrated more faith in me and more loyalty than people I've known for many years.
There is an exception to every rule if you are willing to recognize it. There are some wonderful, wonderful people in my life right now and I count myself very lucky.
Over the last few days, I learned a very big lesson. I learned that there are people who will take the time to get to know who you are, who will remember your heart, weigh the whole of who you are and not just a single moment and love you in spite of your flaws and vulnerabilities.
People I've known for just six months demonstrated more faith in me and more loyalty than people I've known for many years.
There is an exception to every rule if you are willing to recognize it. There are some wonderful, wonderful people in my life right now and I count myself very lucky.
Begin 40: Online Dating Tips for Every Guy
This is the blog that almost wasn't... It started out as the Top Ten Things a Guy Should Never Do. But, who am I to tell guys what they shouldn't do? However, the idea came out of my online dating experiences and the more i live in this online dating world the more I believe this should be shared.
Here are my top seven tips for any guy who is dating online:
1. User Name/Screen Name: There are certain words you should not include in your screen name. One of them is "lonely." It gives you an air of desperation and even if you are desperate a woman doesn't want to know that. It's too scary. Also, steer clear of names like OhMeSoHorny and ThisOnesHung. If you insist on names like those, then just steer clear of me (from now on).
2. Photos: Make 'em current. And in order to avoid confusion, by current I mean within the last year. The more recent, the better. When you post your Marine photo from 1989 and your date arrives to find a 40-something guy with a scruffy beard and his belly hanging over his belt, it's a... well... it's a surprise.
3. Make It Plain: Your profile description is an opportunity to let the world know what you like and what you don't. So just make it plain. I am not going to promise you that it will keep 60-year-old women who are posing as their 30-year old-daughters on the site from contacting you or that the women who are absolutely not your type aren't going to fall in love with that Marine photo from 1989 but... Being honest in your profile and taking the time to really fill it out completely will sort of cover your tail. You can always point back to it as proof that you were up front from the beginning because it's all in writing.
4. Answering the Big Questions: Most profile templates include drop down menus or check boxes for you to complete so you can be specific about your physical desires, your compatibility with regard to activities or lifestyle and your preference for the type of relationship you want. They are seemingly small and trivial but... they are the BIG questions. Complete these. Most guys have a preference for a particular body type. Most guys know if they prefer a woman who is shorter or taller. Also, many women want to know if you want kids or not. That's kind of a big deal given that we do the birthing and some of us really want kids and some of us really don't. And the truth is you know if you want kids or not so just say it.
5. Initiating Contact: When you send the first email to a girl, typing "hi" and hitting send isn't enough. In fact, "Hi, How are you?" isn't enough either. Tell her what caught your eye and why you're emailing. Give her a reason to respond.
6. Knowing When to Say When: If a woman doesn't respond or tells you she's not interested. Let it go. Don't keep emailing her. Period.
7. Anything is Possible. Or is it? While I don't think you know if someone will be interested in you unless you try. Take a woman's profile into consideration before taking the first step. If she's young enough to be your daughter or old enough to be your mother, think first. If she says she really wants kids but you don't, don't waste the time. She isn't going to change her mind. If she says she is more comfortable staying within 50 miles of her home don't email her from 3 states away. Anything is possible. Sometimes. Just keep that in mind.
Up next, all you ladies... Man I've heard some horror stories. You are not exempt from the rules.
Here are my top seven tips for any guy who is dating online:
1. User Name/Screen Name: There are certain words you should not include in your screen name. One of them is "lonely." It gives you an air of desperation and even if you are desperate a woman doesn't want to know that. It's too scary. Also, steer clear of names like OhMeSoHorny and ThisOnesHung. If you insist on names like those, then just steer clear of me (from now on).
2. Photos: Make 'em current. And in order to avoid confusion, by current I mean within the last year. The more recent, the better. When you post your Marine photo from 1989 and your date arrives to find a 40-something guy with a scruffy beard and his belly hanging over his belt, it's a... well... it's a surprise.
3. Make It Plain: Your profile description is an opportunity to let the world know what you like and what you don't. So just make it plain. I am not going to promise you that it will keep 60-year-old women who are posing as their 30-year old-daughters on the site from contacting you or that the women who are absolutely not your type aren't going to fall in love with that Marine photo from 1989 but... Being honest in your profile and taking the time to really fill it out completely will sort of cover your tail. You can always point back to it as proof that you were up front from the beginning because it's all in writing.
4. Answering the Big Questions: Most profile templates include drop down menus or check boxes for you to complete so you can be specific about your physical desires, your compatibility with regard to activities or lifestyle and your preference for the type of relationship you want. They are seemingly small and trivial but... they are the BIG questions. Complete these. Most guys have a preference for a particular body type. Most guys know if they prefer a woman who is shorter or taller. Also, many women want to know if you want kids or not. That's kind of a big deal given that we do the birthing and some of us really want kids and some of us really don't. And the truth is you know if you want kids or not so just say it.
5. Initiating Contact: When you send the first email to a girl, typing "hi" and hitting send isn't enough. In fact, "Hi, How are you?" isn't enough either. Tell her what caught your eye and why you're emailing. Give her a reason to respond.
6. Knowing When to Say When: If a woman doesn't respond or tells you she's not interested. Let it go. Don't keep emailing her. Period.
7. Anything is Possible. Or is it? While I don't think you know if someone will be interested in you unless you try. Take a woman's profile into consideration before taking the first step. If she's young enough to be your daughter or old enough to be your mother, think first. If she says she really wants kids but you don't, don't waste the time. She isn't going to change her mind. If she says she is more comfortable staying within 50 miles of her home don't email her from 3 states away. Anything is possible. Sometimes. Just keep that in mind.
Up next, all you ladies... Man I've heard some horror stories. You are not exempt from the rules.
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