Live Your Life

I don't understand why my young people are racing through life. So many are living life twenty years in advance of their actual ages. I realize there are many reasons pushing today's kids to accelerate the timelines of their lives but, from my seat of experience, I see our youth being cheated the chance to truly live. Some kids have watched their friends die before the age of 18 or shortly thereafter. Others are consumed with these being the end times. Still others long for independence from what they perceive as servitude under their parents. And finally, many are being prematurely pushed out of the nest by parents who no longer want the responsibility of their children.

The other day, my aunt told my cousin that life is not supposed to be figured out, it is supposed to be lived and enjoyed. Pure genius! This notion occupies a great deal of time and space in my thoughts lately. What exactly does that mean? While, for each of us, the path of truly living will vary and will absolutely lead in a unique direction, I can reflect on my beautiful life and offer some ideas that might also work for others.

College may not be for everyone. Many might have said that about me. But I had the choice to either get a full time job or go to school. I chose school mostly because I didn't want to work. However, I am glad I made that decision. College presented the ultimate struggle for a kid who hated school but needed to pass 12 credits a semester to stay there. It took me seven years to get my undergraduate degree. I partied a lot. I got into a lot of trouble. I am not advocating that for others but there were some incredible experiences in between the craziness. I met so many people who I never would have met without college. Going to classes by myself in a place where I knew nobody forced me out of my comfort zone and demanded that I carve out an identity separate from where I came from or who my friends were. Take a class. Go to some kind of training. Join a book club. Do something outside of your comfort zone. DO NOT JUST SIT AT HOME.

It's no secret that I don't like to work in one place for too long. The same boredom that plagued me throughout my education rears its ugly head on the job. If I don't feel like I am still learning or growing or if the experiences gets stale (what others might call comfortable), I am out! Most people see that as a bad thing but it has been a blessing for me. I have worked as a baker & a prep cook in a restaurant, a nanny, a public relations liaison, a sports writer, a publications coordinator, a technical writer, a project manager, a coach, a teacher. I have been the low man in the seniority rankings and I have been the boss. What I have discovered is that in all things, it's the people that matter most. It doesn't matter the job, or the process, or the industry, working is really all about the people you will meet and the experiences you will have. So try something you have never done. Apply for a job you think you'll never get. And mix it up. You will be better for it.

Travel. Travel. Travel. Escaping the status quo and venturing out into new, unseen places offered irreplaceable experiences to me in my twenties and thirties. Of course, I still had to work full time by then but a lot of my money went to seeing as much of our country as I could. The level of diversity in culture and food and religion and environment and people in this country is abundantly more than you can imagine. I can tell you that New York City is completely different from St. Louis which is completely different from Los Angeles and Des Moines, and Miami and Milwaukee. The way people get to work in those cities is different. What they eat for breakfast is different. Where they spend their time is different. How they talk is different. IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD. I can tell you that people stand in Times Square in New York dressed as Elmo to make money. In LA, you can find impromptu food stands set up in front of folks' houses where you can get the BEST tacos made by somebody's mom. The smell of beer brewing in Milwaukee is much stronger than in St. Louis and late at night, when people are leaving the clubs and the bars to go home, sausage stands are set up on the corners and, while it might have been heavily influence by the beer, I think I might have had the best sausage I have ever had there.

Speaking of food and beer. TRY IT. Eat sushi. Go to a wine tasting. Eat at the new Indian restaurant in town. Make friends with your Pakistani neighbors and get invited to dinner! Don't limit yourself to chips and mozzarella sticks.

Finally, the one thing that everyone can afford to do is volunteer. I spent every month of my 40th year volunteering for a different cause and it was the most rewarding year of my life.

The pressure to grow up is so intense these days. But you have so much life ahead of you. Live it a little. There's plenty of time to work 60 hours a week, buy a mansion, adopt 7 dogs, and join the PTA. Slow down. And, LIVE life.

Summer Lessons

My summer has come to a close. Time flew by quicker than I could have imagined. I am glad I didn't have a job this summer and I had the opportunity to work on our house, reignite my writing career, and spend time with my family. I walked my dog twice a day, did a little painting, and tried a few new restaurants too. During the school year, teacher life occupies most of my time. I know you often hear about how teachers don't make enough money to work the ridiculous hours they work and how teachers are under appreciated and how teachers get so mad when people say things like, "It must be nice to have summer off." Well, it is all true. The school year was exhausting so a "relaxing" summer was just what the doctored.

That said, teachers never stop learning, even when they are on vacation. Here are some of the things I learned over summer break:

1. Breathe Right strips do not work for everyone.
2. Buffalo sauce is not necessarily the best thing for your dog to consume. You should be prepared to let said dog out into the yard fairly soon after you have shared your buffalo chicken sandwich with the pup.
3. Reading is fundamental.
4. Sleep comes quicker when you ban electronics from your bedroom. Unless, of course, you keep getting up and going out to the kitchen to check your phone. Then you might be up all night.
5. Feelings are feelings. Nobody can say they aren't real. (Well, they CAN say it but they might be complete assholes too.)
6. Surprising me might be the worst idea EVER. I will ruin it every time.
7. Everything is not Mike Matheny's fault. Everything is John Mozeliak's fault. (Ok, this might not be a cold, hard fact but... it's what I believe.)
8. Writers must write every day. It doesn't matter if it is a grocery list, you must create. You also must know how to use commas and how to make sure your subjects and verbs agree.
9. Xanax can easily be replaced by long walks with your dog, if you have the time to make that happen.
10. The beard gang is serious about their beards. But they make me hot just looking at their hairy faces in July.
11. Carjackers are either brave or crazy. But if you come by to take my car, I am going to give you the keys AFTER I practically talk you to death.
12. 100 degrees is just too hot to do anything. If you need me on a 100 degree day, you can find me on the couch.
13. Sometimes you have to mute the people by whom you are completely entranced. That kind of one-sided fondness is dangerous because it delays your possibilities.
14. My number one goal from here on out is to become independently wealthy. I want to have so much money that I can spend it anytime on anything I want. I might still teach though. Working while rich has got to be a blast.
15. Washing your car is a sacrifice to the rain gods.
16. Maybe we are all not meant to be friends. Maybe I am working too hard toward a unity we will never see. But I will not stop being who I am no matter who you are.
17. Cheese is life. Sometimes.
18. Inspiration is all around you.
19. I would do anything for puppies and babies. OMG.
20. I am looking forward to hanging out with 10th graders this year. I used to hate teenagers. Now, I can't imagine my life without them.

That's probably just the tip of the iceberg but I think it has been an educational break. Now... back to the books!

In the Garden

"Gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes." -Unknown

When I was a little girl, the piece of yard beside our garage was a little garden tended by my father. Small, round watermelons sprung up there along with big, juicy tomatoes and radishes and green onions. There were cucumbers and peppers and tall stalks of corn. Dad cultivated the land and guided the food to fruition. Sometimes, when everything was ripe, he would take us through his masterpiece and allow us to harvest parts of our dinner.

Early this Spring, I decided I wanted to try to carry on the gardening tradition. I had some rose bushes removed, tilled some soil, and started with seeds in the house that I transplanted after the last frost. It was a slow and steady process but now I have real plants in the garden. I am awaiting my first harvest. 

There is something so satisfying about growing things. Seeing it burst forth from the ground and reach slowly toward the sky. Watering, feeding, weeding... It's hard work.

I can't wait to taste that first tomato.

"Gardening is about enjoying the smell of things growing in the soil, getting dirty without feeling guilty, and generally taking the time to soak up a little peace and serenity." -Lindley Karstens