With a Little Help From My Friends

It is amazing how much you can get done in less than two hours with a little help. I have been learning how to ask for help over the last year but help is not always available. Sometimes help doesn't come in the form you think it will either.

Today, three students from Vianney came over to help around my house. They hauled trash, broke down boxes and took them to recycling, carried huge containers up and down the steps from my basement to my second floor, and cleaned up my front balcony. They even moved a massive couch and a table from the top floor to my basement, maneuvering narrow staircases and hallways along the way. It was a task I needed help with for months. Before 11AM, chores that had been awaiting completion for a very long time were finally done. And my office and art studio is almost free from stuff and ready to be used again.

I am so grateful for the help I received today and for my friend who arranged it for me. Next up... Painting. Who's ready.

42 Things You Might Not Know About Me

In years past, I have put together similar lists so some of these might be repeats. I haven't looked back to make sure I don't duplicate anything. But in honor of my beautiful age, 42, here are 42 things you might not know about me:

1. I have never been a coffee drinker. I drink a Diet Dr. Pepper every morning.
2. One of my favorite musical moments came when I sang the National Anthem in front of more than 60,000 people at a NASCAR race.
3. My tolerance for anything I perceive as nonsense is really low.
4. I respect others even if I am incapable of liking them.
5. Although I don't like everyone I give my best effort to do so. I consider this my greatest weakness. By "this" I mean not liking everyone AND trying to like everyone. 
6. Usually, after deciding I don't like someone or something, I have a change of heart. That's how I became friends with some of you and how I ended up driving a Jeep Liberty.
7. I am physically stronger than I think I am and not nearly as strong emotionally as I claim.
8. I am not the product of my birth nor of my environment. I am the sum of my parts.
9. I love my life and I am proud of every part of it including the painful parts and the pieces I don't share with anyone.
10. My deepest regrets are often words... The words I have said. The words I have not said. The words I never even thought to say until I could no longer say them. The words I have written on paper.
11. The best interests of others are always top of mind for me. Then I consider myself. And I always consider the consequences. 
12. In 2 weeks, I will graduate with my Masters in Communication Arts. As a kid, I was a lazy student so I never saw this coming. The road to get here was not smooth.
13. More than anything, I would like the opportunity to be a mother again.
14. I have three secrets that I hold dear. By the end of this year, I anticipate that I will have only one.
15. The level of patience I have achieved is the result of a lifetime of waiting. I have learned to stop praying for patience.
16. Confidence evaded me until I was in my 30s. Up until then, I was just faking it.
17. I haven't picked up a paintbrush in two years but before that, I was an avid painter.
18. I wish that a haircut could make you skinny and beautiful.
19. By the time I was eight years old, I was already enrolled in Weight Watchers and on my first diet.
20. I thought I knew everything by the time I was 28. Now I know that I have so much more to learn.
21. I was a sports writer a long time ago. The first pro sport I covered was the Major Indoor Soccer League. I am glad that wasn't my final career choice & that you don't have to have just one career.
22. I have curly hair. I straighten it every day because it's not pretty curly. It's weird, inconsistent, frizzy curly.
23. My dog's barking makes me CRAZY. Mostly because I am worried it is disturbing the neighbors...
24. I am an emotional eater.
25. If I had more money, I would spend it on everyone else. I already do that but that's because I have what I need and I don't want the rest to go to waste.
26. I know the difference between a want and a need. About 85% of the time, I act on my wants.
27. My least favorite chore is taking out the trash.
28. The year I turned 40, I volunteered once a month. That was the happiest year I think I've ever had and I don't think that's a coincidence.
29. I hate that women who love athletes are called cleat chasers and men who love athletes are called fans.
30. I also hate that my past relationships define me more than my accomplishments or my abilities.
31. I say the F word. A lot. I am not proud of it. I have tried to stop. I am still trying. But I need a lot of work in a lot of areas so... it's on the list.
32. One of my favorite nights out is Margarita Night with my friends. 
33. Nothing makes me happier than the laughter or joy of others.
34. I can't imagine anyone ever really loving me.
35. I cry a lot. Every emotion I experience comes with tears of some kind.
36. I want to be an accomplished author but I am hindered by the fear of hurting others in the process of telling my story.
37. Morality has not always been my strong suit. I have made many decisions that others would question. I want to be a good person but I often fail miserably.
38. Baking & ironing relax me. I make amazing bread. And if fry bread took talent, I would claim that as one of my bests too but... it's pretty easy.
39. I remember names and I recognize faces. In my work and in my volunteer efforts that has been my job at times. I am not good with numbers.
40. My taste in men is inconsistent. But it's usually eyes and smile that get my attention.
41. I played ball competitively from the time I was 8 years old until I had an accident 14 years ago that caused me to lose the use of my left foot.
42. I love making lists.

What's On Your Mind?

Social media has given me a false sense of familiarity. If you've read my blog for a while or, better yet, if you have known me for many years, you understand that I struggle with a feeling that people never really know who I am. The people who get you, who understand you, who know the kind of person you are at the core rarely doubt your motives, intentions or meaning. They don't often question your heart or how real you are. They don't lump you into groups with other people you remind them of or who they think you are like. Because, they simple know you.

Recently, I took a Facebook vacation which has been even more difficult than I anticipated. Lingering event invitations forced me to revisit my profile shortly after the hiatus began and irresistible notifications regarding comments on blog posts piqued my interest and so many people plan special occasions around or on Facebook now. Admittedly, I spent some time this morning, looking through the groups I had created to see most recent status updates from all of my friends whom I have neatly categorized by how I know them. While catching up proved satisfying, I also discovered bits and pieces of some drama I avoided by disappearing for a while. That was satisfying too. Overall, limiting my Facebook activity to blog or Pinterest posts has served me well.

Today, I am taking this Facebook hiatus a step further. I am going on a twitter fast. The daunting task of keeping my thoughts to myself worries me a bit. The temptation to post status updates and answer the question "what's on your mind"overwhelms me at times. But it is necessary.

I don't want to defend who I am or explain myself to people who I have never met face-to-face. I don't want to have an argument with a man whose hand I have never shook. The assumptions made based on 140 characters are often ridiculous and I am uncomfortable with the notion that twitter posts define a person. Please note that I am also guilty of making assumptions and thinking I understand the character of a man by what he writes in 140 characters. I am not innocent. But I do feel the need to take a step back for a moment and reevaluate why and how I use these channels of communication.

So for now, I will continue blogging here and on tumblr. I will keep pinning delicious things on Pinterest of both the food and non-food nature. And I will figure out another way to say the things that are on my mind.

See you soon tweeps! "Don't you forget about me."