Dale Carnegie once said, "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you."
Many people have commented on my ability to make friends. Some have held it against me. But throughout my life, I believe there have been spaces and gaps created in my world that were meant to be filled by new people, new friends. In the moments when those openings occur, it is up to me to discern who I will welcome into my life.
Some people come for just a season. Some forever. But each person confirms my love for people and renews my desire to meet and know as many of them as I am allowed.
Last night, I was reading through some old notes. There was a lengthy conversation between me and someone who I believe to be a forever friend and, in that conversation, he said that he had spent weeks trying to get me to like him. Reading it then made me angry. Reading it now makes me sad. You see, when it comes to friendship, I am easy. You need not try so hard. I realize that it is difficult for some people to accept my smile and my open arms as sincere. Past experiences, history and previous relationships color our perception of others.
But I am sincere. I am genuine. I promise you.
You don't have to get me interested in you. I like you. Most of the time, I like you before I even meet you. People fascinate me. I just want to know your name and your taste in music and food and movies. I want to know what makes you happy and what brings tears to your eyes. I want to know you. And selfishly, I need you in my world, if only for a day or a month or maybe for a lifetime.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The Music of Your Soul
"Music isn't just learning notes and playing them, You learn notes to play to the music of your soul." ~Katie Greenwood
When I was 10 years old, I walked up to the front of the church, before my entire school, and asked if I could sing. While I felt the music within me from my earliest memory, that day I was given the opportunity to release it into the atmosphere and share it with the rest of the universe. And my musical education started that day. I began to learn how to string together the notes of my life and sing the songs of my soul.
Although my life did not take a uniquely musical route, there has been a soundtrack playing in my head for 37 years. The music is with me always, impacting my every day life.
I am constantly amazed by the musical talent of others and by their ability to pull from the universe the ideas and thoughts and dreams of the rest of us to unite us through song. They remind us that our feelings are not merely our feelings but that we share them with so many others. And that while we may feel lonely or broken or sad, it is a universal loneliness and brokenness. We are never alone in any moment of our lives. Some will say we are not alone because we have God and I believe that. But I also believe that we are never alone because we have music.
Music is a common thread in the fabric of our world. Language, culture, interests may divide us... We may be separated by land or sea... Our politics or religion may cause strife among us... But everyone loves music in the depths of their soul.
In times of joy and great happiness... In times of pain and sorrow... Everyday and every night... Take some time to listen to your life. Hear your soundtrack. Listen to the music of your soul.
When I was 10 years old, I walked up to the front of the church, before my entire school, and asked if I could sing. While I felt the music within me from my earliest memory, that day I was given the opportunity to release it into the atmosphere and share it with the rest of the universe. And my musical education started that day. I began to learn how to string together the notes of my life and sing the songs of my soul.
Although my life did not take a uniquely musical route, there has been a soundtrack playing in my head for 37 years. The music is with me always, impacting my every day life.
I am constantly amazed by the musical talent of others and by their ability to pull from the universe the ideas and thoughts and dreams of the rest of us to unite us through song. They remind us that our feelings are not merely our feelings but that we share them with so many others. And that while we may feel lonely or broken or sad, it is a universal loneliness and brokenness. We are never alone in any moment of our lives. Some will say we are not alone because we have God and I believe that. But I also believe that we are never alone because we have music.
Music is a common thread in the fabric of our world. Language, culture, interests may divide us... We may be separated by land or sea... Our politics or religion may cause strife among us... But everyone loves music in the depths of their soul.
In times of joy and great happiness... In times of pain and sorrow... Everyday and every night... Take some time to listen to your life. Hear your soundtrack. Listen to the music of your soul.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
We still see you
Removing yourself from a situation and expecting it to just go away is like covering your eyes with your hands and thinking you're invisible.
You may not be standing in the midst of it or be in any direct contact with others involved but the situation still exists. You may not be able to see it but the situation lives on.
Any time we experience something that makes us uncomfortable, we naturally want to avoid it. And those of us who are sensitive to the feelings of others steer clear of anything that will cause others pain. If we have caused someone else pain, we want to avoid them as well. It is our gut instinct to run away.
Deep down I think we all know that we are not sparing anybody any pain, resolving any issues or altering circumstances by removing ourselves or limiting our involvement. The only way to accomplish any of those things is to stick around and work through it. But that's so hard. And it requires so much effort. It also makes us see ourselves for who we really are and acknowledge our role in these events. We can no longer blame others for our own behavior or feelings. It requires honesty and a commitment to make things right or at least make them less wrong.
And more times than not, it gets worse before it gets better. It's harder and the pain is intensified. It is darkest before the dawn. But surviving the bad times shows the character and strength of a relationship.
Covering your eyes until you think you're invisible might feel easier. But it only makes you look silly and prolongs the inevitable. We can all still see you. So, let's put those hands to good use. And deal with life... and eventually... get on with it.
You may not be standing in the midst of it or be in any direct contact with others involved but the situation still exists. You may not be able to see it but the situation lives on.
Any time we experience something that makes us uncomfortable, we naturally want to avoid it. And those of us who are sensitive to the feelings of others steer clear of anything that will cause others pain. If we have caused someone else pain, we want to avoid them as well. It is our gut instinct to run away.
Deep down I think we all know that we are not sparing anybody any pain, resolving any issues or altering circumstances by removing ourselves or limiting our involvement. The only way to accomplish any of those things is to stick around and work through it. But that's so hard. And it requires so much effort. It also makes us see ourselves for who we really are and acknowledge our role in these events. We can no longer blame others for our own behavior or feelings. It requires honesty and a commitment to make things right or at least make them less wrong.
And more times than not, it gets worse before it gets better. It's harder and the pain is intensified. It is darkest before the dawn. But surviving the bad times shows the character and strength of a relationship.
Covering your eyes until you think you're invisible might feel easier. But it only makes you look silly and prolongs the inevitable. We can all still see you. So, let's put those hands to good use. And deal with life... and eventually... get on with it.
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