Sunday, May 22, 2016

The Summer of the Hustle

I always imagined that I would be living a stable life by the time I was 30. I thought I would be married, financially secure, and mothering a house full of kids. So to be 45 and struggling is not only disappointing but it is tragic. I worked hard for a lot of years to help others and never through about my own security. While I didn't anticipate being a career-driven woman, once that became my reality, I thought the money would just keep coming. And it did, for a very long time. Until it didn't.

When I lost my last job, I took it as an opportunity to transition into teaching which is what I always felt I should have been doing anyway. Now my struggle is very real. I am barely keeping my head above water. I feel like I owe everyone $1000. Like... EVERYONE. 

This weekend, I started a new part time job that brings in a little extra money each week. But it's not enough. Not yet anyway. I have never been great at the hustle but... this summer? This summer will be the summer of the hustle. And hopefully there will be a little time to sleep.

Sunday, February 28, 2016

My Wait

It's difficult for us to understand why people don't want the same things as us, especially if whatever it is seems integral to our own lives. The beauty of the world, however, is that we like and want and need different things. To be the same would be boring. Some of us love and crave that diversity. We thrive in situations where we are not like anyone else or where everyone is different from each other. Others find it uncomfortable and weird and sometimes they feel driven to push others in a direction that is aligned with their own likes or wants or needs. But while that makes them more comfortable it creates an awkward situation for those other people.

Our greatest strife as a world, a country or a community comes from our inability to be ok with our differences.We have to learn at a lesser level, one-on-one, that uniqueness is alright. There is not just one way to do something and just because it isn't your way, that doesn't make it wrong.

Last week, I began reading a book called "The Wait," by DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good. Thanks to the media attention they have received, numerous interviews and book reviews, the book has garnered attention for the couple's decision to wait until marriage to have sex. But the books is about so much more than that. It is about waiting, in general, for what is right for your life and not settling in any area.

In my younger years, I settled a lot. As I have gotten older, I truly have an understanding for not only what I want but also what is right for me. For anyone else to make an assumption about what is best for me based on their own likes, wants or needs would be wrong. I don't necessarily want what might be obvious for a woman of my age or with my education or from my background.

Additionally, my singleness is not an indication of anything other than the fact that I am not married. I am not looking for easy. I don't want whatever job I can get. I am not looking to jump in the sack with whatever guy is available to me. I am not ready to settle into life and just coast until I am old and gray. I have never done what is comfortable or expected. I have carved my own path and I will continue to do so. And I will only have people along for the ride who understand that, who support it and who are deep enough thinkers to appreciate it.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Finding Freedom

It's that time again... In 45 days, I will reach another milestone in my life when I turn 45 years old. As a little girl my imagination never reached beyond life in my twenties. My dreams teemed with the blessings of family. I hoped that, like my mom, I would be married with children by the time I was 26 years old. Going to college, traveling, and having a career were never on my radar.

I soon discovered that my life would take a different path than I had dreamed. And the journey on which I embarked became a quest for freedom in many aspects of my life.

For the next 45 days, I will be posting on a new blog, aptly named FINDING FREEDOM.

Please join me there and follow me over the next month and more until I turn 45.

See you on the other side!

Michele