My Wait

It's difficult for us to understand why people don't want the same things as us, especially if whatever it is seems integral to our own lives. The beauty of the world, however, is that we like and want and need different things. To be the same would be boring. Some of us love and crave that diversity. We thrive in situations where we are not like anyone else or where everyone is different from each other. Others find it uncomfortable and weird and sometimes they feel driven to push others in a direction that is aligned with their own likes or wants or needs. But while that makes them more comfortable it creates an awkward situation for those other people.

Our greatest strife as a world, a country or a community comes from our inability to be ok with our differences.We have to learn at a lesser level, one-on-one, that uniqueness is alright. There is not just one way to do something and just because it isn't your way, that doesn't make it wrong.

Last week, I began reading a book called "The Wait," by DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good. Thanks to the media attention they have received, numerous interviews and book reviews, the book has garnered attention for the couple's decision to wait until marriage to have sex. But the books is about so much more than that. It is about waiting, in general, for what is right for your life and not settling in any area.

In my younger years, I settled a lot. As I have gotten older, I truly have an understanding for not only what I want but also what is right for me. For anyone else to make an assumption about what is best for me based on their own likes, wants or needs would be wrong. I don't necessarily want what might be obvious for a woman of my age or with my education or from my background.

Additionally, my singleness is not an indication of anything other than the fact that I am not married. I am not looking for easy. I don't want whatever job I can get. I am not looking to jump in the sack with whatever guy is available to me. I am not ready to settle into life and just coast until I am old and gray. I have never done what is comfortable or expected. I have carved my own path and I will continue to do so. And I will only have people along for the ride who understand that, who support it and who are deep enough thinkers to appreciate it.

Finding Freedom

It's that time again... In 45 days, I will reach another milestone in my life when I turn 45 years old. As a little girl my imagination never reached beyond life in my twenties. My dreams teemed with the blessings of family. I hoped that, like my mom, I would be married with children by the time I was 26 years old. Going to college, traveling, and having a career were never on my radar.

I soon discovered that my life would take a different path than I had dreamed. And the journey on which I embarked became a quest for freedom in many aspects of my life.

For the next 45 days, I will be posting on a new blog, aptly named FINDING FREEDOM.

Please join me there and follow me over the next month and more until I turn 45.

See you on the other side!

Michele

Nod, Smile, and Pass Along Your Cart

This is my Aldi quarter. I keep it in the console in my car and every Saturday, I grab it to use to rent a cart for my grocery shopping. Heading toward the cart corral, I usually run into someone who is returning a cart. Rather than taking a new one, I hand over my quarter to the friendly stranger in exchange for the cart he or she has been using.

That's how it works. Rarely does a shopper pick out a new cart. But rather, the exchange of grocery basket and quarter between two strangers occurs in the parking lot.

Here in south St. Louis, where I have lived all of my life, the diversity of our residents covers the four corners of the earth. A great deal of our city's growth has come thanks to minority populations. "My" Aldi is a gathering of nations. While, St. Louis is relatively segregated, Aldi is not. It is as culturally diverse as you might find, next to the farmer's market in Soulard. And, I love it.

My earliest memories include a desire to understand those who were different from me. Perhaps that desire grew from feeling very different myself. I was drawn to other children who looked different or sounded different or dressed differently that I did. The process of engaging others and learning about them at a very deep level seemed inherent and I enjoyed it beyond explanation. My pursuit to understand various cultures, religions, ways of thinking, and ways of life continues to this day. I pride myself on my ability to adapt and "do as the Romans do" when in new situations.

The slow Saturday walk through the narrow, product-filled aisles of Aldi, satisfies my need for that which is different. This past week, a Bosnian man with an adorable baby fidgeting in his arms gave me his grocery cart as I entered the store. I placed my quarter in his dry, work-worn palm, saying, "Thank you." He nodded and smiled. Later, an older, tiny Asian woman asked me to help her find a cut of meat. We did not speak the same language but she did know she wanted a filet. I reached to the top shelf and pulled some options from which she could choose. She selected a package and smiled and nodded her thanks to me. "You are welcome," I said returning the smile. Once I was in line to pay for my food, the lines stretched into the aisles. Children of many cultures begged their moms for snacks and toys in various languages and one little boy threw a temper tantrum. As we each left the store, we handed off our carts to the next round of shoppers who obliged us each with a new quarter to use next week.

Often I wonder how many hands my quarter has passed through en route to a trip through the grocery store. My Aldi quarter, quite possibly, has experienced more culture than most people. I also often think that if the world took a lesson from my south city Aldi, we would find more peace. Perhaps we spend too much time talking when words are not always necessary. We must return to the simplicity of the human experience. Nod. Smile. Pass along your cart to the next shopper.